Dear LaVar Ball: As the father of two happy and successful professional young adult sons myself, I would like to address this column to you. Let’s talk. Dad to Dad.
You seem to have been, at one time, a fairly good athlete who then married a fairly athletic woman. You and your wife have produced three very talented young men who seem to be nice enough people in their own right. It would appear that all three of your sons aspire to play basketball for a living. That seems to make you quite proud.
LaVar – I’m sure that you remember your days in high school. By most accounts, you were apparently a really popular and talented football and basketball player. Hopefully, you were also recognized for being a good student, too. By staying in high school with your peers, your family gave you a chance to learn how to study, to relate to other people, to compete, to succeed, to fail, and to learn many skills which also helped you to develop into a man. By the time you entered college, you probably had a pretty good idea of what you wanted to do with your life.
You wisely allowed your oldest son, Lonzo, to complete his high school education at Chino High School in California. After that, Lonzo entered UCLA for one season and was fortunate to have been drafted in the first round of the NBA draft by the local Los Angeles Lakers. Though his rookie season is still underway, he has shown enough skills with a basketball to earn a terrific living. And, despite your over-the-top promotional efforts, Lonzo seems to have kept a good attitude about your antics and still seems to love his Dad and his family. You should be really proud.
Your second son, LiAngelo, finished high school, too, and, like his older brother, enrolled at UCLA to play basketball. Though maybe not as talented as Lonzo, LiAngelo was getting a chance to learn about himself, to grow up, and to see where basketball or some other interests might lead him in his life.
Until, sadly, an incident in China where LiAngelo and two other UCLA players were arrested and detained for shoplifting. Once LiAngelo came home to the United States, UCLA suspended him and the others indefinitely. Rather than let your son learn from his mistakes, LaVar, you inserted yourself into your son’s life and told him to withdraw from school. How is that going to help him to grow up and become his own man?
LaVar, I learned today that you have negotiated a deal to send LiAngelo out of the United States to play basketball in Lithuania for a European basketball team. Assuming that LiAngelo wants to do that, of course. It will be tough on your second son to adapt to going from a college freshman to playing in countries where English isn’t the primary language.
That brings us to your third son, LaVar. LaMelo is just 16 years old and, according to many, has a good chance to follow in Lonzo’s basketball footsteps. Sadly, LaVar, you have decided to insert yourself into your third son’s life, too. First, you took him out of high school (and a chance to develop skills other than dribbling a basketball and shooting awkward-looking three pointers) and away from his peers. You said that the high school basketball coach is “no good”. Is that a good reason to pull your son away from his friends and out of high school? Didn’t Michael Jordan get cut from his high school basketball team as a sophomore and become a pretty good player, LaVar? Your sons have to learn how to deal with bad situations, bad coaches, bad teachers, and, sadly for you now, bad parents.
So, you’ve decided to package your 16-year old son to go to Lithuania to play on the same team as his brother, LiAngelo? Will LaMelo become a better player than that “no good” high school coach would have made him? Perhaps. But at what cost, LaVar? How would you have liked it if a family member swept you up out of high school and sent you to a foreign country to play “professional” basketball?
Father to father, LaVar, you have crossed a line which you will regret forever. Though your intentions seem to be good (flawed, but good), you need to give your kids the same chances to grow that you had. The chance to make their own decisions and learn as they go along in their own life. Lonzo was lucky enough to have the NBA grab him away from you before you had another year to embarrass him further.
For LiAngelo and especially LaMelo, though, you will rue these decisions for the rest of your life, LaVar. Whatever happens with these two young men down the road, whether successes or failures, you have just taken them down a road that neither of your sons would have chosen for themselves.
In my opinion, you have officially crossed the “Good Dad/Bad Dad” line. You are out of control right now, LaVar.
You should apologize to your two youngest sons, and immediately help them get back to their own lives again. Please allow them have the same opportunities to grow-up like you and I had at their age.
Just go back to being their father again (and not their guardian agent).
You reap what you sow, Dad. And, right now, this latest episode has tragedy written all over it.
For the sake of your sons and your family, please reconsider and then get some professional counseling to help you deal with your own issues, LaVar.
I’m here for you if you want to talk.
Prayerfully yours,
SwampSwami