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It’s not like I really left you back on July 7. My wife and I took a week to visit one of our sons, his lovely wife, and two of our young and energetic grandkids after publishing that story.
We spent a few days in central Arkansas at the DeGray State Park resort south of Hot Springs. We made the obligatory trip up to Hot Springs to see the sights. I also enjoyed a round of golf at the state park’s golf course (which is in great shape and is quite reasonably priced – a “must” for golfers) prior to leaving for our return journey back into the land of excessive humidity.
Upon my return, I was ready to discuss the then-rumored information about the University of Texas and Oklahoma University bolting the Big 12 (minus 2 – now minus 4) and joining the Southeastern Conference.
I still plan to discuss that with you soon, but here’s the rest of this story.
When I design my stories prior to them being published on the internet, I utilize a great product called WordPress. It has been amazing to use and has worked like a charm for well over three years of this unique website’s existence.
Until the week of July 14 and through Sunday, August 1, that is.
When I logged-in to my WordPress “production” system to opine about the implications of Texas and OU joining the SEC, I was prompted to install a few “updates” first. Nothing surprising about that as it usually occurs at least once per week.
Well, your SwampSwami (a Stone-Aged technology guru who still utilizes Windows 7 on his 13 year old desktop computer put together by his engineering-major son) may have inadvertently uploaded the equivalent of COVID for my SwampSwami WordPress engine.
Cough! Sputter! Wheez! I couldn’t post anything which I had written. I also couldn’t upload a picture or my award-winning audio podcast.
For once, I was completely stunned. No matter how hard I had prepared for my blog and podcast show, the vehicle which I utilize to bring it to you was suddenly in the Intensive Care wing of the Worldwide Web hospital.
Yes, I was “SOL”. With the REAL Sol (as in the sun) still brutalizing the South for another few months of his evil “heat ray”, I, too, was becoming burned-up how to fix matters involving my beloved SwampSwami.com site for the past few weeks.
First idea? Let’s call a “Doctor” as they’ll know what to do! I nearly forgot that I am paying a third party to manage good ol’ WordPress for me. That company (which has terrific customer service and does a fine job) helped me to acquire my website’s naming rights for me, too. (Hint – they are the company which used to advertise during halftime of the Super Bowl with commercials featuring very attractive females – one of whom had raced Indy cars just a few years ago).
I called the Help Desk and spoke to a very nice, congenial staffer who tried to troubleshoot my issues. “It’s probably that one of those optional downloads caused your system to flake”, said the kind gentleman over the phone. “Let’s try something called a System Restore and try to bring back your settings before contracting Computer COVID”.
Think about “Back to the Future” and that’s what we tried. I turned on the Wayback Machine to July 8 (the day after my last successful post), and we shut it down for the night. The next day, I was still out of luck.
Double Drat!
The company sent a “How did we do?” email to me, and I responded that everyone was quite response and polite, but my PC was still in sick bay.
I tried another call a few days later to the Help Desk. Again, I explained the details of this tragic occurrence and that I had legions of SwampSwami.com fans to attend to. He said, “Sir, I hate to ask this, but what does SwampSwami mean”?
Why, this is a sports site where your humble host (me) is from a state well known for its swamps, and I like to prognosticate and analyze sports from my own unique perspective. “Oh, I see”, he said.
His idea on how to fix my WordPress issue was to return to a “classic” version of the WordPress editor (they switched to a more modern version about two years ago). Perhaps, one of the new “updates” I had downloaded was not written for the newer version of the product.
Sounded good to me! He walked me through the process, and I saw that a few of my necessary options were now showing up. Unfortunately, the ability to upload pictures and audio were still malfunctioning.
I doubt that any of you would want to read my posts without a picture in the header or, of course, miss listening to my highly entertaining audio podcasts, right?
Afterwards, the company sent yet another “How did we do?” email. I again gave superlatives to the troubleshooter but had to admit that I was nearing the point of giving up completely.
The next day, a text message arrived from the company’s Quality Control desk. This person wanted to chat with me about this lingering issue. After the third strike, he suggested that the company has people who were willing to fix my problem…for just $49.95 per event.
For anyone who has known me for more than a few weeks, I am not exactly a spendthrift. OK, my entire family would tell you that I probably still have my first nickel stashed in the blue Maxwell House coffee can that I kept my money from mowing yards as a teen.
$50 bucks to fix this? What happens when or if this issue occurs again? No, I am not parting with my hard-earned $50 to figure this out. There must be something which I can do to get SwampSwami.com back up and running again!
One week became two. Two weeks became three. I would check my system every few days hoping to see if one of the miracle cures had “taken” yet.
When you’ve been posting your opinions to the world and creating an audio podcast to go with it, you grow attached to this stuff, you know?
Then, as the calendar flipped into August, I tried one last time on Sunday, August 1.
What do you know…it worked! Hal-le-lu-jah!
I posted a story I had already written about Louis Oosthuizen (and tried to post for weeks) and checked how it came out.
The good news? I’m back on the internet. The bad news? It now appears that Apple Podcasts cannot find my RSS feed to them (RSS is laughably named “Really Simple Syndication”). I shall contact Apple Podcasts (who are kind enough not to charge for uploading my podcasts) and see what has broken in that chain.
The REAL news? I listened to the feedback from the Help Desk guy and purchased the name rights to “SwampSwamiSports.com” recently. If all goes well (not today, but soon), we’ll migrate all (or many) of the old posts/shows to the new SwampSwamiSports.com site.
You have my word that I’ll let you know beforehand. Besides, I won’t be hard to find as I remain the world’s most famous “SwampSwami” on Google (or Bing) searches. Just look for the new “sports” tag line in the future, OK?
The one thing you can count on is that I will continue to provide you with my best efforts – at the least possible cost.
Just like one of my entertainment heroes from the past, Jack Benny, some things will never change!